Institute: Peoples' Friendship University of Russia
Course: 3
Theme: fire station
When I was a child, I was deeply afraid of everything. I blamed others for my mistakes and couldn't accept criticism. My biggest challenge at that time was realizing my own dependence. Everyone made it clear that I didn't matter, and I lived in that state for so long that I became accustomed to it.
Now, my biggest issue is not acknowledging that I am no longer a child on the outside. In the mirror, I see an adult man, and those close to me perceive me as such. But a part of me still believes I am small, which generates an ongoing fear that everyone will suddenly recognize that I am not truly an adult. There are still situations that make me shield my head in times of danger, even though I have become strong enough that no one can harm me. And to be fair, it is precisely this strength that I have developed.
When my father was a child, he took on an unbearable burden. He blamed himself for things he was never at fault for. These chains bound both him and me, gradually constricting our lungs and cutting off our access to oxygen.
I have always found it amazing that these chains are held by no one but us; no one directly prevents us from removing them. Strong individuals around us wish to see us free from these shackles, while weaker ones encourage us to cease our struggle and accept our frailty. This is why I have decided to no longer interact with such people.
Honestly, I no longer want to be shackled. I am tired of imprisoning myself. I want to breathe deeply and fully embrace life in its entirety. When I was a boy, I looked at my father and saw a boy. Now, I look at my father as a man because he has removed his chains, and I too have fearlessly shed mine.
